Christmas Has Came and Left

I hope everyone out there in the blog world had a great and happy Christmas! We had a wonderful Christmas. Full of Faith, family and love :) It was nice also because for the first time ever, Christmas was at our house this year! My in laws, sister in law, and brother in law came over. Unfortunately my family, was not able to make it because of other commitments, but I did Christmas Eve with all of my family with the exception of one of my sisters which we spent Christmas Day evening with them so I guess it all worked out pretty good.

As far as AF goes and all of that goes, she was due on Christmas Eve. However she did not show. I tested that morning and it was negative. I went back a couple of hours later and saw a very clear positive sign! Needless to say, I was crazy happy. And the look on my hubby's face was priceless. Now given the time time lapse between when I took it and when the positive line showed up. So therefore I knew that it could very well have been a evaporation line. So I retested Sunday morning and it was negative within the 10 minute time frame. I was very disappointed but I knew that it was a long shot and so did my hubby. We were like "Ok, its negative. Maybe next cycle." So first thing Monday morning, AF showed her ugly face and she was in a wicked mood and has been all week! LOL.

So Tuesday, I went ahead and called the RE that I have been considering contacting for a couple of months. I told her that I was interested in starting IUI within the next cycle or two. She told me to come in Thursday and I could have the intital meeting and exam with the doctor and then go from there. So I took the appointment and called my insurance company to confirm what would be covered and all of that jazz. I am very nervous about it and just getting the ball rolling on the IUI. It scares me to think that maybe that wont work either....My hubby is worried about it because it can result in multiples and dangers that can come with IUI. Not to mention, the "embarrassment" of having to give the sample at the doctors' office which is something that I think cant really be fun for any guy. However, he is excited to be getting closer to the possibility of parenthood for the both of us.

I will update tomorrow after my appointment and go from there!

God Bless :)

All I Want For Christmas...Is You ♥

Currently on CD 28 and not really feeling anything much going on : / My boobs kinda hurt but normal and still some of the coughing nausea but that's it. Tested this evening with evening pee, and BFN. I was expecting that though. Its hard for me to really get my hopes up anymore because I am always let down. I'm just going with the flow for the next few days and will be expecting AF to show up on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. One or the other......

The hubby and I sat down last night and decided for sure not to do another medicated cycle next month. I want to give my body a break from all of the hormones. I have been so up and down all month with tears, happiness, or just plain moodiness! My poor hubby LOL! I going to take natural herbs and vitamins but that's about it. Things I will be taking: FertileCM, Soy Isoflavones, B6, FertileAid for Women, and using PreSeed. And hubby is going to take the FertileAid for Men just for an extra boost of something..haha. I want to use the PreSeed because it helps with mobility of the sperm to get to the uterus. TMI--This round of Clomid really "dried" me up and I had NO eggwhite mucus this cycle which is weird for me. Alot of people swear by it that it alone got them pregnant so I want to try it plus after this month, I think I actually need it.

My check-up appointment with my doctor is Jan.12th and at that appointment I will decide if I am going to stick with him or move on to the fertility specialist (RE) that is in the small hospital. Everyone is talking about "Be Your Own Advocate" with this issue and speak your mind and opinions. So I decided that that's exactly what I'm going to do! If he wants to put things off or whatever after I have said my "peace" then on to Dr. A! My mind and body is telling me that an IUI is the next step, but I don't know if that is what he will say or not. He mentioned at my first appointment that if the Clomid didn't help us conceive, then that was next. I also want an HSG test to check for blocked tubes as well and my vitamin D checked as well. So, before my appointment, I am going to make a list of things that I am wishing to be done/checked, the opinions that I want to consider and questions that I have about different things. He knows I think that I am serious, but I feel like I need to recheck that thought to him. So, hopefully it will all go well.

Christmas is just 4 days away!  'Til Later....God Bless ♥ 

11 DPO...Almost There!

Its been about a week or so since my last blog! Oops! Its been busy around here with Christmas and such. Well, to follow up on my last blog, everything is fine now. It was the day after. Hormones and such are taking a strong toll on this gal is all I have to say : (

Only 4 days til Christmas Eve!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't believe that this month has flown by like this! It seems like just yesterday was Black Friday.

So I am 11 DPO with 4 days til AF is due. My head is telling me that this is not our month, but my heart still has hope. The only symptom that I am having that is strange for me is coughing and its makes me gag and want to vomit for the past 2 days : / Yuck! I don't know if that would be considered a preggers symptom, but its not me. Stomach has just felt yucky all day today. My left ear is hurting so maybe I'm just getting an ear infection and its messing with my equilibrium. IDK. If it doesn't have this cycle, from the way that my doc is sounding like until I go in for my follow-up appointment to start a new treatment plan on Jan. 12th, then I may end up not having a medicated cycle this next cycle because the 12th is after my "fertile" period for next cycle anyways. Which I think I may be ok and kinda let my body recover from all of the hormones for this upcoming cycle. We'll see. Me and the hubby is still debating it.

On a side note: JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON : )

God Bless ♥

Bad Night..

Last night was a really bad night here. My husband and I got into it pretty good. One simple thing that I asked him to do turned into a huge arguement. I couldnt believe that he acted the way that he did, but in a way, he does have a tendicy to blow up sometimes. It was so stupid. I didnt ask for much but he decided that there was no need to do it. Oh well...then he was mad and went to bed. I tried to start the fight and wanted to BD because last night was my last fertile night and he decided he was going to take that from me! This really pissed me off! I dont know if he just wanted to feel in control or just wanted to really hurt me or both. This was last night and I'm still fuming over it and he left after he got up and I havent seen him or heard from him. I want to tell him that if I dont get a positive this month, I'm done. But am I really? He knows buttons and how to get to me. And I hate that! But I do love him. We have just got so much going on and I think sometimes that comes to a head in our marriage. Its like he knows the right time to get me. He says that he wants this, but when he does crap like this, it makes me think that he's trying to avoid it happening.

I have put myself through the freaking ringer trying to make this happen. I have got so many horomones in me that I dont know if my moods are really me or the horomones. But that is the price and sacrifrice that I am paying to have a baby. It is my choice and I am dealing with it. I know that in the end it will be all well worth it! But I feel like I'm the only one trying. Yes, BDing on a time schedule sucks! I will be the first to admit that but if that is what it takes, then it needs to be done. But don't push me away when I want you to be the father of my children. This process is hard enough as it is on me, I dont need this crap....

Sorry for the rant, but I needed to let it out.

God Bless ♥

Doctor's Appointment Today

Well, today was my follicle ultrasound for this cycle for the 200 mg of Clomid. This cycle, I am soooo relieved to say that they found 1 small follicle on my left ovary and 2 follicles, 1 large and 1 slightly smaller follicle on my right ovary!! I have a good shot at this being our cycle : ) I am soooo happy! I'm not supposed to ovualate until Saturday, so they still have about a day to grow so I hope they continue to grow and release good eggs! The largest follicle was about 2.3 centimeters and they like them to be about 2.5ish so that sounds really good to me at this point. God, please let this month work!! :)

One of my good friends went with me. This was such a change because normally I go by myself because James has to be at work so it was so nice having someone else there with me. She is blessed with good reproductive organs so she has not had to go thru this stuff which is great because I wouldnt wish this on anyone! She is very supportive of me and thats feels really nice.

Afterwards, we went shopping because both of us are shoppers! LOL. Caught some really good sales so that was awesome. Both 2 shirts at Gordmans, which I love, but they are soo tight : ( With something over them though I think I can wear them. They were super cheap so if I can't wear them as much, I wont feel as bad.

Well, thats it for right now. Just took a nap so I need to get some cleaning done!

God Bless ♥

I Just Wanna Cry : (

I was just on Facebook and was looking through all of the statuses and I noticed something I see quite often. Another friend of mine is 12 weeks pregnant! So aggravated! I would love to be happy to see it but I'm not....she is 19 or 20 and already has a set of twins that aren't even 2 yet!! It just not fair! She doesn't have a college education, she works as a CNA and her hubby doesn't even work! He claims he is mentally unable..? Seriously?? She always talked about how she wasn't financially stable and BAM, she gets yet another freaking baby........

I swear sometimes I feel like the people around, friends or not are out to make me miserable when it comes to this issue. I have at least half of my Facebook friends that are pregnant right now or just had babies. I just wanna cry, scream or hit something! Mind you, this is the same girl that told one of our mutual friends that she deserved it more than I did. It just feels like a gut shot!!!!!! I was doing so good today until about 15 minutes ago.

Its gotta work this month people! The stress and anxiety is really the best of me! 

God Bless ♥ 

Time to Be Thankful....

Tonight I decided to watch the Teen Mom 2 season premiere. Big mistake! Between getting aggravated, annoyed and sad made it not so enjoyable. Its one of those shows that hurts in a way to watch but is kinda addicting at the same time. Because of my issues with infertility, seeing a bunch of teenagers getting pregnant and raising children just hurts. But I can't be jealous really because they struggle to make it and make alot of mistakes.

I talked to one of my friends via text message this evening that I really look up too. Bless her heart, she has had a long road. She found out that she was preggers then miscarried about 8 weeks in and found out that ovarian cancer was what caused her to miscarry : ( She is in chemo right now and has a full hysteretomery a few months ago. Mind you, she is only 19 years old! My heart breaks for her because she wanted to be a mom so bad. Its such a struggle for someone that young to go through. She has been such a fighter throughout the entire ordeal. I think about my problems with having a baby and I have to be thankful though that I still have a chance to have children naturally. She will have to adopt to be a mommy which is such a stressful and heartbreaking process in itself. My prayers really go out to her so much. I can't imagine what this is like for her and her hubby.

I think that its fitting to end this blog with this quote, "What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger."

God Bless ♥

CD12...Getting Ready to Ovulate!!

Well, Friday I finished up this cycle of Clomid. Had remaining side effects until yesterday. It was definitely my worst side effects with the meds since I started for sure!

My chart is looking pretty good right now. Starting Saturday I had a dip in my temps and it is still low, so within the next couple of days, I think it should spike for sure :) I took an OPK yesterday evening and it was almost +. Then I took 1 today about an hour ago and it was getting darker!! So excited! I am becoming fertile alittle earlier than usual but I'm sure its because of the meds so that works. My follicle ultrasound is Thursday and I'm hoping that that's not too late.

TMI: I told the hubby last night that my fertile period was starting so we are "planning" BDing this cycle. Starting last night thru Saturday, BDing everyday! I don't want to miss any opportunities. He was fine with it because we talked and we don't want it to be just baby makin' BDing. We want to have fun and enjoy. This was one reason that we never really planned BDing before because well...it doesn't really make it about you and your hubby you know. It sometimes cant feel as imitate as you would like : /.

I am sooooooo hoping and praying for a BFP this month!! I have already figured out how to tell him if it does happen. I plan on putting the test on a piece of ribbon and hanging it somewhere on the tree and after he has opened up all of his presents, telling him that there is one more present for him and its on the tree somewhere and he has to find it! He would never suspect that!

I am so scared about what if it doesn't happen. That worries me. But at the same time, I've never been on such a large dosage of this medication. And we usually only BD about 2 times during my fertile period. So I'm hoping that since we have increased these 2 things, that it will happen this cycle!

God Bless ♥

CD8 and 4th Day of Clomid

Well, last night after I blogged, the dizzyness ended up getting really bad. I ended up at my sisters' house a few minutes away from about 3 hours. I felt horrible and today I still feel really dizzy but trying to relax and take catnaps. Only 1 day left and I will be soooo happy to finish up this cycle!

God Bless ♥

CD7 and 3rd Day of Clomid

Ok! Well this round of Clomid had been going pretty good til today...I have been extremely dizzy and lightheaded since I got up this morning, nnauseous and headache all day. Oh yea and moody as heck! The hubby is probably glad he's at work tonight LOL! So that's whats going on today with that...no cramps or pains in my stomach either so that's great! Now hopefully these last two days will go easier on me!

God Bless ♥

CD6 and 2nd Day of Clomid

Just an update...I took the full 200MG of the Clomid today and no side effects!! That makes me so relieved and happy : ) I was wanting all day to start feeling something but nothing. I took it like 15 hours ago so I'm hoping that I'm in the clear! Will update again tomorrow!

God Bless ♥

CD 5 and 5th Cycle of Clomid

Wow! I've been off here for a little while! A busy 2 weeks around here.

Well, Thanksgiving was great! Good times with family. Black Friday shopping was tons of fun as usual too! I am a big shopper so the one day out of the year that I get crazy deals, I shop til I drop. LOL. Then Christmas decorating with the hubby the rest of the weekend ♥ He has been on vacation for a week so him being back at work today is kinda depressing : (  Can't wait til I see his face when he gets home!

Ok...so AF was a day late this cycle. She came on Thanksgiving morning! I thought, "Well this is one thing that I'm not thankful for!" LOL.

Today was CD 5 which meant my start of this round of Clomid. last week I talked with my doctor and he decided to up me from 50MG per day to...200MG per day!!! I was excited but nervous at the same time because that was such a huge increase. So I mulled over it over the weekend and today I only took 150MG. Now the only real side effect that I kinda noticed was the headaches :p. Ugh! But at least it wasn't anything major! So tomorrow I will attempt the 200 MG and see what happens. Worse comes to worse, I will lower myself back down to 150MG. My follicle ultrasound is Dec. 5th so we'll see then if this round of Clomid worked or not. If still no success then I have to go back Jan. 12th for a Overview/CheckUp with the doc to see whats next.

I have a feeling that this is going to be OUR cycle and get our BFP this time around. Maybe its the Christmas season or the big dose increase or something, but I feel really good about it! I would love to announce our pregnancy on Christmas Day to everyone we love!! So, IDK but fingers are crossed and I am praying!

I will try to update each day on this cycle of Clomid for side effects and such. Friday will be CD9, so I will take the final dosage then.

God Bless ♥

2WW Almost Coming to an End

Thank goodness to all that I can say. 2WW is the most anxious and long 2 weeks ever! I am currently on CD 27. I am 5 days out from AF :( Hopefully she forgets to stop by and I get a BFP this month...I hope ♥ For the heck of it though, tonight I tested. I know that it is probably too early, but I did. It was a BFN :( But I am hoping that my doc was wrong this month and I will get a BFP by the 23rd. We would love to annouce our pregnancy on Thanksgiving, but my mind is telling me that it didnt happen this month. I have no weird sypmtoms or anything as of yet. So I'm still in the waiting period. I will test on CD31 which is Tuesday and if it is a BFN, then I will call the doc and hopefully get the next treatments started.

I am so ready for this and I just so damn aggravated! I want this more than I can express and waited so long. If one more friend tells me that they got a BFP, I will probably scream!! I hate being this person inside because this not the real me under normal circumstances. I love all of my friends and it just freaking hurts :(  I've tried the "relax and maybe it will happen" time and the medicated cycles. Now I just want my BFP. I pray for it and long for it.......

God Bless ♥

"Thoughts on Becoming a Mother" Another Poem

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother!

~TTC Poem~

I love this! It made me cry because I can relate so much......

"Everyday I get further behind wraped up in a thought that someday i'll get mine hold on hold on thats what they say give it another chance for you i will pray, but they dont know what i have been through, the time that has passed with no lite shining through.

Days turn to months and months into years, seeing with these eyes of people all around me glowing and happy . Oh my I must of cried so many tears, all is not lost thats what I hear but they do not know they've never been here.

Longing for a baby it sure takes a toll never knowing if someday your angel you'll hold, you feel so alone and that no one understands but GOD has heard you and for you he has plans.

Just when you feel that your at the end of your rope he opens the door with a ray of hope, all your prayers have been anwsered from GOD above he sent you your angel for you to love.

He says now child you must see i did not ignore you i was just buisy making the child you will someday get sometimes it just takes patients and that you must never forget........."

One of those Days...: /

Last night, me and my hubby were lying in bed and he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Babe, are you pregnant?" Mind you, he was joking. We are always making jokes and laughing. I told him yea you wish I was pregnant! In a second, he said yea. To make this understandable, he never says he hopes that I'm pregnant. He always states it as if you are, than you are. I know him very well and this a type of defense to protect me (ease the pressure off of my part) and also so he doesn't get let down I think. Well, I looked at him and asked he really did wish I was, and he said "Yes babe. I really do ♥" I turned over to him and just started crying and he held me until we feel asleep. At this point, it felt so great to hear the hope in his voice. He always is this tough guy and doesn't like to express his feelings about this especially because we both know that it is a very sensitive and touchy subject. I ♥ him so much! 

So I went onto YouTube last week and found one channel that stood out to me. It was a TTC vlog by a women who is the same age as me. I found that we had alot in common. We both have PCOS and she has been trying for about a year or so. She had so many bits of info on PCOS and the options that lie out there. I sat and watched probably 20 or so of them and I found myself writing things down and coming up with all of these questions for my doc. Boy, he is going to love me come my next appointment! LOL. But I really did learn alot of helpful ideas and tips for me to try out and the hubs too!

I cant even express how helpful and nice it is to meet and chat with other women out there who are going through this long and sometimes painful journey as well. My best wishes are with them, but just having someone to talk with is very calming and therapeutic in a way. I don't really have anyone around me that has fertility issues and can truly understand what this is like and all about. You know someone who tracks their cycle days, OPKs, BBT charting, fertility meds, and everything else that is involved. It can be a very intrusive process and such a disappointing process. I used to say that is would be horrible to never be able to have children. What I thought back then when I said this and what it is like now is such a difference because now I truly know the hurt and the pain every time when AF stops by or when I get a BFN. It can really throw you into a depression-like state of mind. I often notice myself saying, "Why me?!" "Will it ever happen?!" "Maybe this is a hopeless dream that will never come true..." Sometimes I will hold my stomach and tell my ovaries to work right! LOL. I just get so frustrated seeing other women walking with their bumps out there for the world to see and wishing my body would work right and produce a healthy miracle like they are carrying. I know that the good Lord has a plan for us and that in time he will give us a child when he feels like its time.

Lord, please let it be soon ♥

Offical Results From My Doc

Well, my doctor came back from vaca today and reviewed my follicle ultrasound. He was in agreement with the other doctor. No large follicles that would hold eggs this month :'( I was hoping that the other doc was wrong! I asked what was next and she said that we needed to wait until the next time that AF got here. Which should be the 23rd of this month. Since I have no follicles, I am wondering if I will be on schedule this month or not. The 1st day of "fertile" period was yesterday and no signs of possible O right now. I'm going to test with my OPK this week (probably Wednesday) just to check. Maybe the doc is off??....you never know right. I know, I know...just hoping. I am still just crushed at this and I can't help it. If AF does comes this month, I will be looking forward to coming up with a new gameplan with my doc. I soooo am praying and hoping that this happens soon. I want to be a momma so badly ♥

God Bless ♥

Another Day....

So I was so happy that I was able to see one of my close friends today. Things didnt work out the way that we was hoping, but we were able to meet up at Wally World and chat. She leaves about an hour away from me, so catching up in person doesnt really happen to much. She has the cutest lil girl and that I love to see when I can. She had not seen me in about 6 months, but she hugged me and gave me kisses : ) So precious! She's only 2 but she acts and looks older. Sarah and I have been friends since was got our CNA license together about 4 years ago. We chat alot on my fertility issues not because she has gone through it, but her sister in law has and is still going through it. She's always been a great friend to me. I would call her one of those very hard "true" friends that are rare to find these days.

On a different note, last night I went over to my sisters' house for a few hours and watched movies and talked til 130AM! It was great and kinda got my mind off of things for a while in a way. We did talk about what the doc found Thursday and she told me that she would give me anything to help me get pregnant! Even eggs if needed....that was just so sweet. I know that both of my sisters would do anything for me and vice versa. I really am a lucky and blessed gal : )  

So the start of my fertile period was supposed to be tomorrow. Guess not now though. What if I get my eggwhite CM?? Does that mean that there was eggs in there after all or would this occur if not? I'm thinking that if I end up having eggwhite CM that I must have at least a couple of eggs. In my head, I am really hoping that the doc was looking at the ultrasound wrong or something, but thats just me trying to hope. It was so sweet Thursday night after my hubby got home. He just held me in his arms and let me cry myself to sleep. He knows how hard this whole ordeal is to me and he really tries to comfort me the best that he knows how. Sometimes, his word "vomit" (LOL) is off, but he does try.

I'm thinking about starting a Vlog (Video Blog), just gotta to figure out how to do it. Well, got tons of laundry to get done so off to the laundry room I go!

God Bless ♥

Bad day :'(

I haven't been on here in quite a few days. Been busy and not really feeling so well. I hate those days when you feel like you can't move or let's be honest, don't want to move lol! It's been hard getting use to being a stay at home wifey. I'm used to working and being at least semi-on-the-go. I can't complain though because in a way I'm blessed to be able to relax for a little while at least.

Well today was my follicle ultrasound. Unfortunately my doctor is on vaca til Monday, so his sidekick doc was my fill in. I had a bad feeling when the ultrasound tech was asking alot of questions and giving the screen strange looks. When the nurse pulled me aside, she spoke the words that I was scared that I was going to hear. She said that my follicles were too small and more than likely, had no eggs in them. This broke my heart : ( She told me that she did not want to change my treatments and that my doc would start on the "What's Next?" process on Monday for me. Very discouraging. I was wanting to be able to announce our pregnancy on the day of the year that is all about the things in your life that you are grateful for....but oh well. Hopefully God will give the doctors the ability to get me preggers soon and let his will be done....

God Bless ♥ 

And the Doc Says.....

I love Halloween movies! I'm on a Halloween binge the rest of the week. AMC rocks :) Cant wait to dress up for our Halloween get together this weekend. Fall is my 2nd favorite time of the year...Winter/Christmas is my fav!! I'm a Christmas fanantic. Love all the colors and decor and mostly the real reason for the season!

My doctor's nurse called me today and let me in on what was going on. Well, this month I'm am still on the Clomid. Started today (CD3). But he wants me to come in next Thursday and have a follicle ultrasound to check and see if my follicles are looking right and such. Then start discussing IUI possibly. At least I did find out that the procedure wasn't as expensive as I thought!

So last night after the hubby got home, we talked a bit and I guess that I had talked "too much" about the baby thing because of all of the doctors appointments and such that has been going on here lately. He pretty much shut me out and told me he didn't want to think about right now. Yes, I was very hurt but it's my body right now so I guess I need to keep it to myself for while. He doesn't have to deal with it and worry that his "stuff" is messed up or disfunctional like I feel about mine. I can't hold that against him I guess. So for awhile at least, this blog is my #1 outlet for the "TTC" thoughts and such LOL. Just kind of got to me I guess. I really do feel like a failure for a lot of reasons when it comes to this. I feel like I am letting him down in a way because this was probably the last thing that he or I expected would be such a hurdle to get past. Many women goes thru fertility problems but you never really think that you will be one of those women you know. It is hard, but I know that something will change for the better. I have to keep faith in that for myself and my marriage.

God Bless ♥

Night Owl..

Well, I am for sure becoming a night owl nowadays! My normal bedtime is getting to be around 4AM now. Guess I need to enjoy these days til I hopefully get preggers.

Not a big day today...just cleaned and played on the computer pretty much. Mondays are now my super lazy days LOL. Called my doc and he wants to see me in the office before he gives me my 4th round of Clomid. Glad I'm not the only one who is in shock that after 3 rounds no baby yet! He may also change my days on which to take it and possibly up the dosage :) This gives me more hope now! I also called the acupuncture lady. 2 hours for the 1st appointment! Wow! Thank goodness though my sis is going with me. I hate needles..I know, "why in the heck are ya doing it then?!" Like I said before, if it helps to get me preggers, then I will give it a go around :) Appointment is for Wednesday so this should be interesting!

Not much else for tonight...God Bless ♥

Great Song for all Married Couples Out There♥

After so many years of marriage or just being with someone, sometimes you both need to "remind" each other of that time in your relationship when loving that person took up your entire day and just seeing them or hearing their voice gave you butterflies --Dedicated to my hubby: I ♥ U

Here We Go Again....

Well, today my dear ole' Aunt Flo was due. I woke up and was so excited that she wasn't anywhere to be found! So I started my day with enthusiasm and happiness.....until around 330PM. She hit me like a ton of bricks! I always get her first thing in the morning so it threw me off. I just began to start crying. After my fertility doc told me in 1 or 2 cycles that he expected me preggers, its still a shock to me that it has been 3 cycles now and still no baby in sight.

Me and the hubby had the family over for a nice dinner and chit chat. This definitely helped keep my mind off of things for awhile. We are in the middle of trying to plan my 1st hosting of Thanksgiving this year! I am so excited about doing it! Still this time last year, I really thought that I would be hosting it with a infant on my hip. 

I am a member on a great website that has really helped me by showing so many other women out there that are going thru the same thing as we are www.cafemom.com. Since joining this website, I have been shown so many alternatives within the TTC world. Tomorrow, I am contacting a lady, who is supposed to the best in KY, for anupunture. This is a method that I have heard can help with infertility. To be honest, I HATE needles. But in this case, I will deal. Also I will be purchasing some B6 and soy isoflavones which also are supposed to help. So we'll see. I have to call the doc and let him know that the 3rd cycle of Clomid didn't work this month and have him send in a new prescription. I take it on days 5-9 but I have heard that sometimes it works better on days 3-7 so I want to discuss that with him as well. I really don't know but if it will help, I will try it at least.

So this month was not a success. But there's next month now. So up the roller coaster I go! God Bless ♥

Getting Started: A Little 'Bout Me

Hello All! I'm 25 and so happily married to the love of my life for a little over 2 years now. We were middle school sweethearts and broke up in high school when I moved to Florida. Fate brought us back together several years later and after another 4 1/2 years of dating, we said "I DO" on September 26, 2009. I always wanted that beautiful church wedding and that we what I was given :) We have 4 furbabies-Libby, Gizzy, Muzzy, and Zeus. 3 are chic-chics and Zeus is a Husky/Lab mix.

This blog is mostly for me to chat and the ups and downs of TTC (trying to conceive) our 1st child. Becoming a momma is my biggest life achievement and I hope one day that it will happen.

Background--This has been a long journey for us. We started trying right after we got married and still have yet to be successful in this. I haven't gotten preggers at all. Naturally, the hubby (in most cases of TTC with other women) is not as affected being unsuccessful with it. I do not hold this against him at all. He wants children, but he is not a stresser, unlike me. He comforts me when AF visits or if I get a BFN. In March 2010, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Basically I was not ovulating properly. I was put on Metformin and told to keep trying. The Metformin made me sick so I stopped taking them after a little while. We continued on the natural journey. Then in January 2011, we decided to stop trying and just focus on us for a while. Our "end" time for this process was June 2011. Finally in July, I decide to see another doctor which I knew was more dedicated and progessive with infertilyissues. He set my hubby up for a sperm check up (for which my hubs was just thrilled about..not LOL) and thankfully everything came back great! So, it was for sure that it was ALL me :(  Dr. B. started me on Clomid (a fertility drug to induce ovulation). My 1st cycle of it was in July and 2 more cycles after that. As of today, still no success. In the morning will be when AF is due, so we'll see! He said that if we have no success at the end of 6 cycles, IUI (Interine Uterine Inspemation) is next. More invasive and costly. But for a baby, we will proceed. To be honest, I would love to get preggers the old fashion way, but I don't think that's in the cards for this gal.

Having a supportive hubby that wants the things that you want is sooooooo important. I need a shoulder to lean on and so does he sometimes as well. Even though he doesn't like to admit it sometimes lol.

I have alittle more time on my hands so I am going to try to keep this blog going daily. Even if noone else reads it, it is a therapeutic outlet for me. And if I do get some followers, then I hope to give them hope or whatever it may be.

I am a Christian so you may see quotes of scriptures as well. God gets me through everything!!