Tired of This Icky Stuff

So in my last post, I said that my doc went ahead and took me off of the Birth Control because I was having weird symptoms. They included hard heartbeats, extreme dizziness, lightheaded, nauseous and just plain tired and icky. The nurse said that it could be caused by the BC but maybe not. So she said to stop them. Still feeling icky and some light headiness going on, but hopefully everything is getting better and back to normal.

Not to mention, my anxiety/panic attacks have been kicking at my heels for the past like 4 days. All day Thursday and late Thursday night, I was crying and just had to stay on the couch and that was it really. The way that I've been feeling has alot to do with them I believe. The snow worries me because what if I need to get somewhere like the hospital and I cant make it there or whatever. Something so small is making me freak out this week. Just not a good week :( I had a "run in" in the first snow of the year a couple of weeks ago and I lost control of my truck. Nothing bad thank the good Lord above, but enough to wig me out when it comes to snow! I have had these attacks for about 4 years now, but the past couple of years they have been alot better til now.

Usually, if the hubby is at work, I just go up to my sister's house (which is rare) if I get really really really bad attacks, but here lately it seems different when I'm at her house and I feel really unwelcome like I'm intruding or something. So Tuesday night, even though I could barely breathe it felt like, I stayed at the house alone and worked through it. I don't know of these attacks are genetic or not, but both of my sisters and I have them. I hate having them though. Its so energy draining and makes your life kinda feel constricted I guess. I have certain things that I have to avoid, which are things that will send me into an attack....Luckily James is really understanding and helps me the best he can when they come when he is around. Plus praying to God and just talking to him seems to really help as well sometimes. This trying to pregnant thing is really taking a toll on it as well I think just because of my mood swings and emotions with the entire issue. So IDK....just a crappy emotional week I guess....

God Bless :)